The · Nutshell

We're throwing my parents' 25th anniversary party at my house. My aunt and uncle's 25th is in August and my rents is in Sept. so it's a good summer lol. That's all I can think of right now.

Marty rocks.

My family is falling apart.  Scott steals and lies and takes advantage of mom. Dad kicked him out. Again.

I'm happy. I want to marry him. I want to wake up with him and eat breakfast with him and kiss him goodnight after spending 1 1/2 hours arguing over who has the most square inches of the mattress.  He's successful, he owns a home, he has a trade, he doesn't have any terrible habits, he knows everything about everything, and he can do anything I ask of him.  He doesn't LIE to me. I try to catch him in lies all the time and never has it happened.

My parents love him. His parents like me (I think).  He said that he didn't know his dad didn't like Amanda Otte until after he had officially broken up with her after dating her for I think two years.  His mom also told me that she hated her and she was scared she was trying to get pregnant and Marty would be stuck with her forever.  Marty didn't know she didn't like Amanda, either lol.  So I think his family is pretty good at pretending.  I know I can be a bitch and loud sometimes but... Oh well.

On memorial day weekend we went to his stepbrother's house who is married and has 2 kids the youngest was turning one.  I think about having his kids and what we would name them every once in a while when I see a really cute kid behaving well or something.  But then I think about sleeping in together on the weekends and having breakfast in bed in peace and quiet and I'm over the kids thing lol.  I don't know. I don't honestly think Marty would be a good father. I think he would spend time with his kids and teach them lots of things but he doesn't have the patience to listen to children.  He is like my dad was and he's just like how his dad still is today.  They don't care what all the noise is about they just want everybody to shut up and go to their rooms or kick them outside for 8 hours lol.  He would spank his kids but I honestly think that if you raise your kids with boundaries and discipline that they will have enough respect to behave enough to not have to spank them.  But I don't know. I'm just a kid.

But I'm happy.

Where It Is:	Mom's
Current Mood:	optimistic

Our return database was down the 26th, 27th, AND the 28th. (I have today off so I'm not sure if it's up or not.) Dick's can suck it lol.

Marty got me a pitbull for Christmas. It's like 4 months old. We have to take him to the vet to get him checked out and see what diseases he has.  I skipped my great-aunt's Christmas Eve thing to go to Marty's Dad's mom's Christmas Eve thing.   We were there for about a half hour and left lol. We should've gone to my thing but whatever. The food wasn't THAT bad.  We also went to his Dad's afterwards (They love me. It's fucking schweet) and did presents and munchies and I did beer lol. I got cutesy floofy girly lotiony Avon jewelry type stuff, ya know. Marty got a cool handmade knife with a tooled leather neck pouch with a turkey beard on it and a little antler stub on the end of the handle which was made of bloodwood, purple heart, and walnut. Pretty cool.  He has two little brothers one's like 10 and one's like 14 15. And he has a little niece who's a pincushion lol. It's good. His parents are just like my parents and I like his dad and step mom more than his mom and stepdad. Effing separated families.

Phillip's home for Christmas!

Scott's in Muskegon County jail for those three dirtbikes being stolen. That's two Christmases in a row RUINED by jailberg boys.  Dad and him aren't speaking and it's killing everybody.  I went to see him and he does nothing but sleep all day. We cried. lol. Hopefully he gets it together with Daddy because it's not cool.  I think he still has to be sentenced for Kent County. He got off for Newaygo Co I think. Or maybe he wasn't even sentenced yet. Hopefully the other counties will consider his jailtime in Muskegon Co when they sentence him and he'll just get 3 felonies, one jail sentence and a ton of parol(sp?).

The house rocks. Everybody needs to come over and see it. When I say everybody that means Sara lol.

That's it. I have pics but I left my memory stick and my laptop at home. Whoopsie!

Where It Is:	Mom's
Current Mood:	bored

PS I have pics of him up on MS

Current Mood:

anxious

Anyways, I just applied to 4 or 5 receptionist jobs on Craigslist in Muskegon. CROSSING FINGERS!!! One of them I'm kind of excited about and looking forward to. I hope it works out.

God loves me.

So does Jesus.

Where It Is:	MCC
Current Mood:	chipper

I'm going to get my certification to become a Medical Clerk. It covers like all of the bases as opposed to the medical transcriptionist which is just the transcriptioning.  So I was at the college and I just needed to see how much it would cost me to register because payment is due WHEN you register. And I have to send a request for a check from my college money account.  So I have an issue with a prerequisite and the college people just take over for me and get me all registered and the lady says to me *Go straight to the cashier* lol. So I go outside and call my mom to see if they have a major credit card that I could put a bunch of money on and then pay off when my check comes. So they let me do that and long story short, I registered. I feel like I finally got something done.  Woohoo!

Also, Marty really pissed me off so I went to the river downtown and sat across from where Mike works (At Wisner Canoes downtown) and watched him load canoes and things. Finally I called him and let him tell me how much he loves me and how much he's changed and how he's going to start ITT and how all he wants is to make me happy. AND THAT'S ALL I WANT. SOMEBODY WHO CARES MORE ABOUT ME THAN THEY DO ABOUT THEMSELVES. lol I don't know. I want somebody with Mike's love but Marty's future.

Yesterday he moved out. He took his clothes and stuff and left for his mom's.  The night before that, he had went off on me in the truck because I didn't understand why his stepdad needed a truck to take a trailor to fair next week. Like I knew that people CAMP at fair. That's dumb. But anyways... He just expected me to know that and understand that stuff and I was like I wasn't raised that way and you know it and then you go off and tell me that I'm ignorant and stupid? I told him he makes me feel like shit on his shoe. Then when we got home and went to bed I had a breakdown and told him that all I want is some more affection from him and just a little bit of his time. He asked if I wanted him to take his shit and leave and I said only if he thinks he can't be what I want. So he didn't know that night and the next day it took him a couple hours to decide. But we're still together so that's good. He's just not going to stay with me.  Friday  night I worked until ten and I went to his place and drank some Smirnoffs and stayed the night there and then this morning we got up early and went to breakfast at his dad's and step mom's. So he was really making an effort to spend time with me and that made me feel a lot better.

So we'll see what happens!

Our (Marty's and I) Memorial Weekend started on Thursday night. (I say Our because he's practically moved in... And my mom now knows... Eek...) We went out to Northern Trails (The place that burned down a couple years ago and is now open again on M-82). Marty had a burrito and got food poisoning at about Midnight that kicked in. And all of Friday he was moping around the apartment. Saturday morning we drove up to Silver Lake to meet a couple of his buddies and their girlfriends.  He and his friend Matt split the cost of a campsite for 3 nights. We get up there and unload the truck so that we can get on the dunes because our voucher only let us in between 11 and 1 and we wanted to get in at 11. So we do the dune thing, (Check out my pics and vids on myspace). Marty ends up nosediving his Ford off a steep lip because nobody told us that the drifts were so bad. He broke his hose for his power steering and brakefluid cooler and that was a trip into "town".  Nobody had shit blahdeblah but he fixes it anyways and we spend the rest of the day (I'm really not in the mood to do this. Maybe I'll do more details later) on the dunes. Get to the campsite and put up our dinky little tent lol. Everybody else there had like 6 persont tents and we had a 2person which barely fit two. I only had about 3 shots of UV Blue and went to bed around midnight. Woke up at 3 with another (bullshit) atomic hangover. Needless to say, the both of us on a twin blowup mattress in 40degree weather me being hungover did not make us very happy so at 3:30 we just left. Didn't bring anything with us lol we just drove home. Sunday Marty drove back up there to get all of our stuff. He took my car though instead of his Diesel to save gas.  Today is Monday and here I am at my mom's in the livingroom uploading vids and blogging. I still feel like shit because my muscles are sore from puking. Yuck. My abs look good, though! lol Blah. Call me email me for details or shit. Blah... lol

Where It Is:	Mom's Oversized Chair
Current Mood:	sick

Just an update... I really need to get back on this thing. It really is like my diary lol. I still go  back and read through my tags and stuff.

My Kitten:
Check out the pics on my myspace! He's a hellian!

My Man:
Is great. Each one keeps getting more and more like my dad lol. He's taken me with him to build a horse stall, load up some scrap aluminum, and cut down and load up some wood from a Walnut tree. And his hands are rough and callused (Just the way I like it) and he's sweet and he'll spoil me (Just the way I like it). He could be a little better in bed but... Whatever lol. I'm still training him. He puts his dirty clothes in the basket and puts the seat down already.

I feel kinda bad about Mike. I told him all of those things and then I was like *Yeah... I take it back.* But I'll get over it.

My Memorial Weekend Plans:
Marty's taking me camping up to Silver Lake (Schuweet)! We're going in a group of about 10 or 12 so it should be fun. If I don't like one of the chicks I can hang out with somebody else lol. He's taking the Ford, not the Dodge *Pffft* but it should still be fun. Perfect weather forecast. Whenever I've gone up we've taken sandrails or quads and I've had to bounce around in a truck once and it wasn't as fun. But oh well. Marty will be there lol. One of his friends is kind of a Dick. I think his name is Matt. Whatever. I don't even know his mom's name lol I think it's Terese.

My Friends:
Call me we need to do something!

Where It Is:	Mom's
Current Mood:	bouncy

In the last two weeks, I have locked myself out of my car three times, and had to have my dad come rescue me twice. I've broken two shot glasses, been instructed to leave one "party" and conducted myself in a humiliating manor for the past two Fridays.  I have left for work in only my undershirt and had to turn around and put my shirt on. The same day, I couldn't get in the building at work because I forgot my door pass. That day I was late to work because I had to drive to the other side of the building and wait for a pass, and plus I had to turn around to get my shirt. As I type this, I have rim cleaner burning into the back of one of my hands, and lotion does not stop the burning. It makes it worse. That is probably why the bottle says spray on, let set, hose off. It did not say "scrub with fingers".  I have had innumerable mishaps at work. There are so many that they are all blended into one and it would be a 5page story if I told you. There was a problem with Payroll so I didn't even get paid last Friday, so consequentially my rent was late. My account has been out of whack for 3 months now, and it's so deep that I can't even bring myself to look at it.  My tire has slowly been deflating for the past oh... two months and I've had to put air in it every three days otherwise it is completely flat. I FINALLY file my taxes, and my forms were REJECTED by the IRS and now it'll take me another 2 months to remember to fix it and resubmit them. I also don't get the stimulus check like EVERYBODY else in the effing country. Thanks... PLUS... My face has been broken out for 2 weeks. Yeah. Lovely. So I'm sorry if I don't smile at you.

In these past two weeks, I also have not been to church. 

Current Mood:

pessimistic